Welcome, Child of God

I started this blog because God told me to. Let me be clear, there wasn't some deep regal voice that said to me: Deeeee do a cast! But there has been a strong urge, double witnessed by, chance meetings and conversations that led me to the moment. I meet many people, just like you, who have questions about God, who are TRULY seeking God, or who are just not sure if they should or could believe in a God. I'm going to tell you something profound. You're listening because you found this cast amongst the millions of others or found it on some Social Media site, or maybe I've given you the link directly. Believe it or not, God led you into this moment. In my experience, God lays out paths before us to ensure that, if we take them, we'll begin to see and understand Him. So, whether this is the only "In Search of God" casts you'll ever listen to, or whether you stop listening right now, I don't know; it doesn't matter. What I know is that He has asked me to do this for you. So I say to you, Brother... Sister... Welcome, Child of God. John 10:27 says: "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." Notice, the sheep know His voice or hear His call (that's God) and they the sheep (that's us) they follow. Hey listen, as I said in the begin, this may not be a loud booming voice. Most likely, it will be a set of opportunities and choices that you make that lead you to Him. I'm going to give you an example of this by telling you my story. I didn't grow up going to church. I think my parents believed in God. My father kept a Bible around, although I can't say I've ever seen him read it. My mom? She wore two gold crucifixes, and she also had a bible that her aunt gave her, which she kept in a safe. I never saw her read the Bible either. Although she cherished the crucifixes, that never translated to worship or faith in God or me. They were pieces of jewelry. We did not go to church, we never even really talked about God. But for me, there has always been an attraction to the things of God even as a child. In school, my favorite English study was Greek and Roman Mythology. Also, given a choice of an extra special purchase, just for me... I choose a picture Bible. I would spend hours read sections of that book over and over again. I felt like I was right there and right, there is where I should be: In the beginning God created... Then Abraham begot Issac and then was told sacrifice him, Wait! What! Then, David runs head-long at Goliath... David's stories are my favorite stories, and I was right there with him. I slang that rock and I (with God's help) slew that giant. I lived in that world and never wanted to leave. On TV, one of my favorite shows, along with Punky Brewster, Different Strokes and Who's the Boss, (I know, I'm dating myself) But among these show was also the choice to watch Superbook. Superbook was awesome! Superbook is a cartoon where kids experience the stories of the Bible as life lessons. I could have been watching anything, and in some cases I did. But for the most part, I chose Superbook. Those choices, reading the picture bible, or watching Superbook, became primers. They primed me with information about God while entertaining me. But I had to choose to spend my time that way. God laid choices before me, He called me. I could choose to listen or not. But in listening, I learned about Him. Fast forward, now I'm a teenager. My first real boyfriend wanted to be a pastor. He used to hold Bible studies/discussions in his house. Here we read from the New King James Bible. Here I got my first "Real Bible." And here I was able to ask questions and talk to people about God and spirituality. I don't know if he did ever become a pastor. What I do know is that it was the first time I tried to read a real Bible and actually understood it. Fast forward again. Now I'm 18, and I have a child, I meet a guy while waiting tables at Denny's. I worked two jobs, one to pay my babysitter the other to pay my bills and I'm out on my own. Every time I say fast forward life is happening. I'm making choices and doing things that are teaching about myself, about life. What I'm pulling out for you here, are the markers, or turning points in myself. That led to me to where I am, here talking to you. But let me take a moment to drive in this work situation, so you can see the setup for the marker. I started out bussing tables at Hometown Buffet. My dad and I used to eat there every Saturday or Sunday, so the place was very familiar, and I did pretty well there. My values developed into work ethic. Daily I made an extra effort to be:

• Polite
• Friendly
• Attentive
• Helpful

One day a patron offered me a second job at Denny's. She didn't know was that I needed a second job. She didn't know that I was trying to work out what I could do, because I was about to lose my babysitter. My babysitter was my best friend. We grew up together from middle school through high. She had been there for me through my dark moments and troubled times. And I loved her. But as much as she loved my daughter and me, she needed to start works a REAL JOB so she could help her mom pay for school. I didn't want to send my daughter to just anyone; I wanted her to have the love and attention she'd gotten since she was born. So I needed the second job, one to paid my babysitter/best friend, the other to paid my bills. It was hard, tiring, but worth it to know that my daughter was in a safe, loving environment. So I took the job at Denny's. Now I'm traveling well outside the familiar to the side of town I've never been. Fortunately, both restaurants are on the same road along the same bus line, which turns the corner at my the street where my babysitter lives. It was perfect. I drop my daughter off, walk a quarter of a mile to the corner, get on the bus, it drops me off at the first job, then leave there back on the same bus, drops me off at the next job, return to her street in one bus ride. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. Didn't matter, in those days in Cleveland you could walk or bus anywhere you wanted to go. I could afford a car anyway. Anyway, it's are Denny's where I meet this Muslin guy and ultimately where I met God. Trust practicing people of Islam cannot marry outside of their faith. I think the rule is you can date, but not marry. In dating, you create converts, so I guess that's okay. Please forgive me if I'm and let me know the actual rule. Anyway, according to him, he couldn't marry me unless I convert to Islam. Convert is an interesting word. It means: "To bring over from one belief, view or party to another." At this point in my life on the Christian side: I've gone to a couple Jahova's Witness meeting, the Bible study/discussion I mentioned earlier and a couple Seven Day Adventist services. Oh and then there's the picture Bible and Superbook. One the other side: I've dabbled in witchcraft and Tarot Card reading; I've read book after book about Greek and Roman deities, Middle Eastern and African deities... Hinduism, The God's of the Gals, Stone Henge, the Druids and Woden. Yeah, Thor's dad. By age 19, I'd studied gods, and belief is all kinds. I was by no means an expert, what I was, was thoroughly confused, and now I'm supposed to convert to Islam. Convert from what? To what? But I committed to learning about it. After learning about Islam for a little while, it just didn't feel right for me. Remember, I don't know it yet, but I'm a sheep, listening for a voice. So I literally called God out. "Like hey, I'm out here, and I'm looking for you!" Okay, well, not literally. One day we were at his house, and he was teaching me how to pray. He had just explained that I need to pray three times a day at a specific time of the day. At some point he left the room and at that moment, I got down on my knee in front an open outer door, and I said: "God, if this is you, then I will do it. I will pray three times a day, I will go to the mosque. I'll do whatever is required. Only if it's You. I want You; I want what's real, what's really You." From that day, my life changed. Let me not confuse you, there wasn't some immediate miraculous marked happening. We, the Muslim guy and I, simply, quickly, grew apart. Then the guy that did my server training at Denny, here we are back at Denny. Anyway, while sitting in a booth, he told me things that answered every question I ever had about God and life. He answered questions no one knew I had, but God. There is a scripture that says the gift of prophecy is the ability to look at a person that you don't know and tell them who they are. This happened to me that day. I can't tell you exactly what he said to me, it's been decades now, and besides that message was for me. But I can try to explain the experience so you can recognize it in your life. It is as if, life is this big puzzle with pieces that didn't connect. Things happened to and for me. I witnessed things happening to and for other people. I watch behaviors and felt away about what I was seeing. I felt powerful but not empowered. I had groups of pieces in place for this picture of life, but the parts that would connect it all together were missing, and the picture was not clear. Well, in that space of time, as we sat talking in that booth at Denny, he filled in the connector pieces, and the picture emerged. And really, it wasn't so much about the questions or answers, it was that He showed me that He (God) knew me by giving me answers to things that troubled me. This guy didn't know the experiences I've had that led me to ponder these things. This guy didn't know I'd been asked to join Islam. Only God, who had been there all the way, could know that I needed to hear those things at that moment. That was my experience, and through those series of events, because He answered me so personally after I called out to Him, I have no doubt that I'm following the Truth and Living God. That was my experience. His way of approaching you can be different. It will be tailored to you because He will want to reach you personally. He'll prove to you that He's always been there walking alongside and at some points carrying you. But you will need to seek Him as you walk down your life path. You'll have to choose the way that leads to Him. And somewhere, at some pivotal moment, you will need to get to a place where you are saying in your heart, way deep inside, "God, I want You.."...and it's okay to be real and say: "If You're out there." He'll answer you when you've come to that place. Maybe this is that moment for you. I don't know, and I won't know unless you or God tells me. Let me say this before I end this cast. I was, by no means, a perfect kid, a perfect young adult, a perfect mother or wife. I don't want you to get the impression, from this story, that I did everything right in my life. I didn't. Went places I shouldn't have gone. Did things I shouldn't have done. But God was there always, walking alongside me, at some points prodding me, at some points carrying me as any parent would do. Telling me that I am His child. Remember, John 10:27. Let back up a couple verses: "Jesus answered them, I told you, and you believed not: works that I do in my Father's name, they bear witness of me. But ye believe not, because you are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:" Now further it says: "And I give unto them eternal life, and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man can pluck them out of my Father's hand." Many many time, someone was trying to pluck me out of God's hand. I also know that in many places, I didn't choose the path that leads to Him. Many times I chose to dabble in things that were not of Him. But as I said in the beginning, I was always somewhere along my life path, given the opportunity to choose God, and He's always been there nudging me in His direction. Quietly, consistently, He offered me Himself amongst my choices. Now here you are listening to this cast, you've made a choice. You heard a subtle call, and you answered it. Whether you got what you were looking for from this cast or not, you took a step in God's direction. This may be the beginning of your journey to truly knowing Him. Maybe the connector pieces of your puzzle will begin to fit into place as you reflect on your life. Either way, I say welcome Child of God. I want you to take a few things away from my story:

• God is always there
• Your search for Him is all about your choices.
• You're seeking is not a perfect science, your experience can be different from mine.
• Live your life. Half the search is realizing how God's show up for you every day.

Okay, so that's my story. What's yours? I encourage you to take a moment or two to think about your life. I pray in Jesus's name that God will reveal His part in your journey to you. But take a moment and ask Him to show you plainly how He's been there. Write it down, so you can reflex on it. Share it with me if you want. Email it to insearchofgod@stwog.org. Indicate in the email if I can share your story in one of my cast. Thank you for listening.

Peace and Blessing Child of God.